The question no one likes: "What's your favorite movie?" (and how to find your answer)
A long time ago in an old Pueblo Revival-style performance arts center, I got a film degree. It's not something I talk about often, but when people find out, the first question they ask is "What's your favorite movie?"
I've always dreaded that question. When someone asked, "What's your favorite movie?" (especially after they found out I went to film school), I interpreted it as "What is the best movie?". My opinion on the best movie is a direct reflection of what kind of person I am. How cool or uncool I am. My answer would determine whether or not I got into the exclusive "Cool Movie Person Club."1
I don't think I'm alone in my feelings toward that question. Recently at work, a top executive from our company came into town. We were all gathered in the conference room to eat catered sandwiches and introduce ourselves. The executive asked everyone to share their name, what they did, and their favorite movie.
By the wide-eyed look I saw on everyone's face, they felt the same dread.
For years I struggled with what my answer should be. I wanted my answer to all at once make me seem cool, artistic, but approachable. No matter what movie I thought of, nothing felt like I could whole-heartedly say it was my favorite.
There was a time when I stuck with the same answer because it was the best I could come up with (I would tell people it was 28 Days Later, which is one of my favorite films) but it always felt forced.
When it was my turn to share my favorite movie with coworkers and my boss's boss's boss, I panicked that there was still sandwich in my teeth, but I confidently said, "The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent," and I meant it.
How did I go from anxious try-hard to confident in my own skin? It wasn't until recently that I realized that I was putting my own meaning on the question. If we take the question at face value, it's "What is your favorite movie?". This is entirely personal to you, and only you can decide.
Now that the pressure is off, you get to decide what your favorite movie is. I'm going to use my "Top Four" from my Letterboxd to show different criteria we can use to come up with our favorite movie (or movies). A fun way to help you figure out your answer to a dreaded question.
My absolute favorite film is The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.2
Here is why.
I enjoy it… a lot
I love every minute of this movie. It is incredibly fun, rewatchable, quotable, and brings me joy. It's funny as hell, makes me think, every shot is gorgeous, and I cry every time (it's a full watch, as they say).
Two of my favorite actors
Cage is a figure of my childhood, and Pascal is one of my favorite actors working today. The two of them together are unhinged in the best way.
Story
My friends know all too well that my favorite part of movies is the story. This movie is about two men who love, and have deep personal connections with movies. It's about their friendship and how they both make each other better people. For Javi (Pedro Pascal), it's not being afraid to take chances on himself. For Nic (Nicolas Cage), it's understanding that he already has everything he needs to feel whole.
Personal Context
I saw this movie when it came out in theaters. At the time, I had just moved to Denver, and my wife and kids were still in Florida. It was a low time, and all I did was work and try to find a house. Josh had moved to Denver at the same time. He and I kept each other company and bonded over our mutual love for movies.
It was a Saturday, and I remember feeling especially lonely and down. Out of the blue, Josh called and asked if I wanted to go see TUWMT. I had nothing better to do, and I’m glad I did. It was one of the best movie-going experiences I've ever had. I saw two grown men trying to figure themselves out, developing a beautiful friendship over their love of films and each other, and I saw Nic Cage grow as a father. As I sat in that theater, I was overwhelmed with how grateful I was for Josh and that I didn't have to wait until my daughter was grown to show her how much I love her.
It was the perfect movie that met me at the perfect time.
For all those reasons, I confidently tell people that TUWMT is my favorite movie.
Here are the other three that can give you a few more ways to come up with your favorite.
The Goonies - I watched this movie on VHS at my grandmother's house countless times when I was a kid. I loved the characters, comedy, and adventure they got to share. I remember wishing I could be a Goonie. Since then, it's probably the movie I've seen most. The association and nostalgia make it a top movie for me.
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - I don't remember the last time an animated film affected me the way Across the Spider-verse did (Up, maybe?). Visually incredible, the score and needle drops are a bull's eye every time. I really resonated with the story of a young man not feeling like he fits in anywhere but fighting to figure it out. This movie just came out last year, and its spot could change - or not. If a movie has a big impact on you, don't be afraid to consider it among your favorites, there's no rules saying you can't change it later or that brand-new movies can't be your favorite.
Last of the Mohicans - I was five years old when I first watched Last of the Mohicans with my dad on Pay Per View. There was a lot that was lost on me and boring, but in the last 10 minutes during the final battle scene, I remember being so moved by the score paired with Daniel Day-Lewis running through the woods battling the Huron. It was at that moment that I realized movies can move you, and I wanted to be a part of that. Even though it was only one sequence, I have to credit my love for movies to it.
There you have it—a few ways to choose your favorite movie. Remember, the most important thing is that there are no rules. Your favorite anything is completely subjective to you, and you don't need to justify your answer to anyone. Using the criteria above helped me feel confident in my own choices, and hopefully, they can do the same for you!
-NMD
This doesn't exist, and if anyone makes you feel like it does, they would definitely not be invited to it if it did exist.
When I first met Eric, he asked me what my favorite movie is. When I told him it was TUWMT, his response was, "Like, ironically, or unironically?" - unironically, Eric.